The Write On Wednesday Rules: Get creative with the writing exercises - there isn't a right or wrong. Please do try to visit the other members of Write On Wednesdays and leave a comment of support and constructive criticism.
Write On Wednesdays Exercise 25 - I heard a song on the radio during the week and I thought the lyrics would make an interesting prompt for WoW. So, write the words "The saddest thing I ever heard" on your page, set your timer for 5 minutes and write the first words that come into your head based on the give prompt.
This is another part of the story from this post. This is a reverse perspective of the boy character. The feelings experienced in this story are ones that I have personally felt but just in a different situation.
The saddest thing I ever heard was the sound of the childrens' screams. It was not the violence that day or the loss that so many people felt that struck me but the sound of all those children as they screamed at the burning building that held their parents. Parents that had never loved them and never would but that would always be loved by the children they had thrown away.
I can still remember the smaller ones clawing away at welded doors, trying to get through and into the skyscraper. Their little hands covered in blood and burns as the others dragged them away. But what I remember the most was her.
She had always had so much love in her, she had even loved me as I had loved her and I knew that if there was ever to be peace between the Neo-generation and the normals then it would be through our bond. I knew that but... When I watched her on that day. I knew that she was the one that would carry everything on her shoulders, the weight of all the responsabilities of the Neo-generation and of our parents.
She was silent and her eyes were dark staring straight at the flames, and as the first of the adults fell from the windows -trying any tactic to escape the flames- she was the one that walked up to them. The whirring and clicking of the guns that replaced her fingers still resonates in my ears now and as every bullet blew through her fingertips and the empty barrels shot out of the back of her wrist, a new tear carved its way down her cheeks. The other Neo-generations could do nothing but watch her silently as the oil spilled for the lives of those who had banished them.
It was the end of the Neo Depression and the beginning of the Resistance.
That was really sad. I must admit to not liking this weeks' prompt, because I will just end up being sad the entire week as I read all the wonderfully written pieces. Yours was very descriptive, and I gasped aloud at all the horrors you described. I guess it was, uh, nice work, though I hate to call it "nice"
ReplyDeleteClaire
I'm so sorry that it made you sad. Though I guess that's what I was going for here. Think that once the Resistance starts things can be changed for the better. Like a phoenix from its ashes.
ReplyDeleteThough this piece is heartbreaking, the descriptions are beautiful. It definatly takes you to this place of horror and destruction.
ReplyDeleteThis gave me chills. Starkly confronting. Love it.
ReplyDeleteI got that sense of the whole phoenix from the ashes thing from this.
ReplyDeleteA little like the burning of the stubble after harvest.
Knowing that life has to be sacrificed so that new life can be nurtured from the embers.
Really powerfully and well written as always!
I agree with Sarah, def had the phoenix rising from the ashes vibe.
ReplyDeleteI like the futuristic vibe, the Neo Depression and the Resistance. You made good use of the prompt. It is sad but I think it is good for us to try and express different emotions. Saying that, like Claire said, it is tough reading all of these "sad" posts!
Yes! I was waiting for an continuation to the We are learning to make fire story. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI love the character of the girl, how you describe her as full of love and kindness and yet she must do something that looks horrible, even if she does it out of that love and kindness she harbours in her heart. Reality is often so complex that lines blur, morality fades to nothingness and actions defy judgement; you managed to capture all of that just by mentioning the clicking and whirring of the girl's guns and bullets. You did a lovely job at it, Tessa -- as you always do.
While you gave us a little more insight into the situation of your world, at the same time you opened up many more questions: Why did the parents hate their children? Was it because of the machine parts? And why was the building burning up?
I wonder what will become of the girl and this piece's narrator, and I'm eager to find out. =)
/ Rain
I agree, it was definitely a heartbreaking piece. And, like Rain, I was left with questions and needed to know more about your story and the world you've built. Your writing is fantastic!!!
ReplyDelete