Write on Wednesday Exercise 14 - The Mighty Mighty Rewrite...
Zanni: I did a workshop with literary author Mj Hyland, who teachers Masters in Creative Writing at Manchester University. She asked us to choose our favourite book, take the first paragraph and then write our own content into the paragraph, keeping the structure, tone, language etc. It's really helpful!
Original First Paragraph of Genesis by Bernard Beckett:
"Anax moved down the long corridor. The only sound was the gentle hiss of the air filter overhead. The lights were down low, as demanded by the new regulations. She remembered brighter days, but never spoke of them. It was one of the Great Mistakes, thinking of brightness as a quality of the past."
I have no idea what this exercise really entails, the description of the exercise in itself is ambiguous. But since I have no idea I'm just going to guess that we have to rewrite this paragraph as we would one of our own story but replace our usual way of writing, structuring and all that jazz with that of the writer we have chosen.
I'm not entirely satisfied with this so I'll make it similar in some other ways as well.
I'm pulling characters and plot from my own book because this exercise is so confusing that I can't start inventing characters easy. Argh, so sorry about all there explanations!
Rewritten Paragraph:
"Galen made his way through the high grass. He could hear the wind currents as they moved through the wings of the creatures above. The young ones played loudly and shouted to each other, as the people of the village watched in awe. He remembered a time where they had not been allowed to show themselves, it had been necessary. After the Great War there had been the Revelation, things seemed too peaceful now to last."
...Hope that's correct, in reference to the exercise.
I think you have hit the nail on its head with that piece. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Adam. I know I scratched my head over this one. Waited and read a few posts and Gills comments before giving it a go (something I don't usually do until having written my own).
ReplyDeleteI think you've done a great job, I love your paragraph.
This is great - LOVE your re-write! It builds momentum already...if I read this as the first paragraph of a book I would simply HAVE to keep reading!
ReplyDeleteYou did it perfectly I must say. Awesome job.
ReplyDeleteGreat piece. Interesting to hear of everyone scratching their heads with this task, I didn't even stop to consider it in the way you did (instead I re-wrote the paragraph in my words as though it was the same book) but I must say I love how it is introducing us to how we all perceive the world and the written word / instructions given.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to seeing you next week
I think you did this weeks prompt perfectly! I adore the last line of your paragraph -- you create an image that builds with excitement! Wonderful writing!
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph covers a lot of ground but it still left me hanging. Good work with the prompt :)
ReplyDeleteFabulous! I think you tackled it really, really well. Great piece.
ReplyDeleteI was a little the same at first but just wrote my piece based on how I interpreted the brief. I was a little unsure it was correct or not but it's done. I think you did great!
ReplyDeleteAnne xx
I enjoyed your paragraph, it conveyed a lot of information about a world I don't know.
ReplyDeleteI think you've done a brilliant job here. It strikes me as the perfect start to a story, suspenseful and gripping.
ReplyDeleteYou got it! Did you like what you came up with? Sorry the exercise was a little confusing - I should have clarified in my post. Anyway, what an intriguing little story. Would love to hear more!
ReplyDeleteAhaha It's pulled from the book or I guess the trilogy I'm writing, this might become the beginning of the third book.
ReplyDeleteI believe you did the exercise very well. You captured the same emotions that the original paragraph had. Great piece!=)
ReplyDeleteSmiles,
Andy
Very intriguing. You've done a great job with the rewrite.
ReplyDeleteOooh, I liked this! It had that unknown quality to it of the first paragraph, that other worldly quality. You did fine!
ReplyDelete