It is sad when something ends, when you find that you cannot or you are unwilling to go further in a certain direction. Either when something is taken from you or you give it away it is usually accompanied by some kind of sadness, a feeling or sorrow. All you can do is hope that that sorrow will turn to hope and new beginnings and in my case it has.
Contemplations for Dessert might be done but you can still follow along, if you are so inclined, at a new blog. One that is much more catered to writing.
T is for... is my new mostly writing blog about the new - tisfortitle.blogspot.com
See you there ;)
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Work Permits and the things we are allowed to do with them
It has been sent out! Huzzah!
I am finally, now waiting, for a work permit that will allow me to get my first ever job in Ca-na-da! I'm overly excited! I kid you not, I don't even mind taking a random job just to be able to get some money in the door. That's how excited I am about this!
OK. I might admit, I have been.... A little bored.
Mostly just when the Boy isn't around.
And OK, I'll admit that he's gotten another offer for a full time job that he really needs right now.
So yes! Fine! I'm bored and love to do any kind of work!
I'm that person that folds laundry for fun and organizes the books and DVDs because she likes how easy it is to find them afterwards and they look so pretty when they're all neat.
But also if I get a job and a bit of an income, then I won't have to depend on my parents for everything anymore. That, above all else, is something that I would really be proud of.
It'll also bring me that much closer to moving to Montreal. Something the Boy and I have been talking about.
So yes. Ex-ci-ted!
ps: don't you love Fall colors?
I am finally, now waiting, for a work permit that will allow me to get my first ever job in Ca-na-da! I'm overly excited! I kid you not, I don't even mind taking a random job just to be able to get some money in the door. That's how excited I am about this!
OK. I might admit, I have been.... A little bored.
Mostly just when the Boy isn't around.
And OK, I'll admit that he's gotten another offer for a full time job that he really needs right now.
So yes! Fine! I'm bored and love to do any kind of work!
I'm that person that folds laundry for fun and organizes the books and DVDs because she likes how easy it is to find them afterwards and they look so pretty when they're all neat.
But also if I get a job and a bit of an income, then I won't have to depend on my parents for everything anymore. That, above all else, is something that I would really be proud of.
It'll also bring me that much closer to moving to Montreal. Something the Boy and I have been talking about.
So yes. Ex-ci-ted!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Old friends, New places
Can you believe it? 5 years after high school, after moving from the US of A to Paris and then back to North America in the lovely city of Vancouver, Canada, I found myself sitting in front of my high school roommate yesterday.
The strange and great thing being that, even with all that time we were apart, I was still so ridiculously in sync with her just like back in the boarding house. It's good to see some things staying great.
I'm living on Main Street in Vancouver now, an amazing place with lots of great places to eat and drink and be merry. I've actually already recommended the great restaurant Grub in a previous post. No one who comes here to visit really knows to come down here, an opinion formulated by my good friend when we had dinner yesterday, so I might as well tell anyone and everyone about the great places I know.
We met up at El Camino's, a superbe little place on Main and 16th is a lot of great fun and some delicious food. Not somewhere you'd want to go for a full meal but great for a snack and a drink and catching up with some old friends. Not quite a bar and not quite a restaurant, it's just a chillin little mexican spot. The service is fantastic too.
Afterwards, to treat a Scottish girl to a real cup of tea, we went to this superb spot that's just a stride away from mine and the Boy's called Sweet Revenge. You will never be in a nicer spot for ambiance and good old fashioned teas and... yes.... The greatest slices of cake you'll ever have. It's an evening place, only opening around 7pm and it's tiny with mismatched furniture. The music is smooth and relaxing, just like the beverages. Sigh, I feel good just thinking about it.
The strange and great thing being that, even with all that time we were apart, I was still so ridiculously in sync with her just like back in the boarding house. It's good to see some things staying great.
I'm living on Main Street in Vancouver now, an amazing place with lots of great places to eat and drink and be merry. I've actually already recommended the great restaurant Grub in a previous post. No one who comes here to visit really knows to come down here, an opinion formulated by my good friend when we had dinner yesterday, so I might as well tell anyone and everyone about the great places I know.
We met up at El Camino's, a superbe little place on Main and 16th is a lot of great fun and some delicious food. Not somewhere you'd want to go for a full meal but great for a snack and a drink and catching up with some old friends. Not quite a bar and not quite a restaurant, it's just a chillin little mexican spot. The service is fantastic too.
Afterwards, to treat a Scottish girl to a real cup of tea, we went to this superb spot that's just a stride away from mine and the Boy's called Sweet Revenge. You will never be in a nicer spot for ambiance and good old fashioned teas and... yes.... The greatest slices of cake you'll ever have. It's an evening place, only opening around 7pm and it's tiny with mismatched furniture. The music is smooth and relaxing, just like the beverages. Sigh, I feel good just thinking about it.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Back from the dead (or so it would seem)
My dear dear blog, it has been so very long! *dusts off cobwebs*
I have the pleasure to say that I have passed my year in Vancouver Film School with flying colors! Huzzah! Those last terms were a handful and unfortunately the blog got the cut over everything else. And my reading took a fair blow to the... do books have guts?
In any case! I am finito! Just finished organizing all my paperwork, my diploma and transcripts away into my lovely new folder, in my lovely new living room, in my lovely new house!
Yes I have moved to Main Street. What is impressive you ask? I had a lease that finished and I moved, what's so great about that?
Well even though it has been a thousand years bloggy dear, and I had just started seeing the Boy around about the time I slowed my writing here, I have officially moved in with my boyfriend!
Way too excited about it? Nonsense.
Although just before and after graduating I spent quite a bit of time here anyways and I felt at home then, I have the feeling it hasn't really sunk in just because I don't even realize it.
You know when you feel so comfortable with someone nothing needs to be a big deal and everything is a nice moment.
I'm not sure how the boy feels but I know for sure he is happy as a fiddle right now just because of one little newcomer.
Say hello to Dr. Harleen Quinzel!
(We're nerds, deal with it.)
She is possibly the sweetest little rat I have ever known. And the Boy is already so in love with her I had to have a serious talk with him to stop him from bringing her to his work.
(i.e. A restaurant. They don't really like rats there.)
More info about moving in is coming up!
I'm back baby!
I have the pleasure to say that I have passed my year in Vancouver Film School with flying colors! Huzzah! Those last terms were a handful and unfortunately the blog got the cut over everything else. And my reading took a fair blow to the... do books have guts?
In any case! I am finito! Just finished organizing all my paperwork, my diploma and transcripts away into my lovely new folder, in my lovely new living room, in my lovely new house!
Yes I have moved to Main Street. What is impressive you ask? I had a lease that finished and I moved, what's so great about that?
Well even though it has been a thousand years bloggy dear, and I had just started seeing the Boy around about the time I slowed my writing here, I have officially moved in with my boyfriend!
Way too excited about it? Nonsense.
Although just before and after graduating I spent quite a bit of time here anyways and I felt at home then, I have the feeling it hasn't really sunk in just because I don't even realize it.
You know when you feel so comfortable with someone nothing needs to be a big deal and everything is a nice moment.
I'm not sure how the boy feels but I know for sure he is happy as a fiddle right now just because of one little newcomer.
Say hello to Dr. Harleen Quinzel!
(We're nerds, deal with it.)
She is possibly the sweetest little rat I have ever known. And the Boy is already so in love with her I had to have a serious talk with him to stop him from bringing her to his work.
(i.e. A restaurant. They don't really like rats there.)
More info about moving in is coming up!
I'm back baby!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
It's...It's been so long
I feel like it's one of those moments, like when you've just moved into an old house with lots of character and (as the laws of moving in state) you're running around exploring every inch of it. This of course is called exploring but it's really just you trying to find something special and magical about your new house.
Coming back here after being gone so long and working on so much stuff is like finding a long lost attic full of the things you didn't remember were there. Like rediscovering the house you left behind and remembering that there was so much you had left there.
My posts are dust covered boxes of past experiences.
This might seem ridiculous because it hasn't been that long. But in internet time it's been decades!
Let me show you what I have been staring at since our seperation blog.
Luckily I've had the pleasure of sitting next to this gentleman here, who is one of the best dilaogue mixers to mix with. Just a treat really.
Coming back here after being gone so long and working on so much stuff is like finding a long lost attic full of the things you didn't remember were there. Like rediscovering the house you left behind and remembering that there was so much you had left there.
My posts are dust covered boxes of past experiences.
This might seem ridiculous because it hasn't been that long. But in internet time it's been decades!
Let me show you what I have been staring at since our seperation blog.
Luckily I've had the pleasure of sitting next to this gentleman here, who is one of the best dilaogue mixers to mix with. Just a treat really.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
School Breaks and Vancouver fun
I feel almost empty having finished the lovely music month. Though it did get me looking through all of my music again and that can never be bad.
School's out! For the grand total of a four day break before heading back to the sound labs. Thank God I love this job.
But on these two of four days off I managed to go out and enjoy myself quite a bit.
So here is a couple recommendations for two days of taking time to do nothing.
Rock of Ages!!! Such an amazingly great movie. If you just want a great laugh and really enjoy Hair metal than run to your nearest cinema and just laugh the night away, with Tom Cruise's rock stardom (and surprisingly good tattoo makeup) to the surprising bonds that will have your eyes bulging, rolling and tearing up.
Seriously I just can't get over how great those tattoos looked.
This image below will make you giggle uncontrollably after seeing the movie.
Just go to the cinema and laugh. I did.
My second recommendation would have to be this delicious little restaurant I went to with Boy just yesterday. It's called Grub and man was this cute little place a delicious little moment. Anyone in Vancouver should pop over and give this one a try.
Also great for a candlelit dinner that won't have your wallet feeling like its been on an uncalled for diet.
So here is a couple recommendations for two days of taking time to do nothing.
Rock of Ages!!! Such an amazingly great movie. If you just want a great laugh and really enjoy Hair metal than run to your nearest cinema and just laugh the night away, with Tom Cruise's rock stardom (and surprisingly good tattoo makeup) to the surprising bonds that will have your eyes bulging, rolling and tearing up.
Seriously I just can't get over how great those tattoos looked.
This image below will make you giggle uncontrollably after seeing the movie.
Just go to the cinema and laugh. I did.
----
Monday, June 18, 2012
Month of Music: Day 30
Day 30 – My favorite song at this time last year
Oh my gosh! Last day of the Month of Music. That settles it... time must have just started moving faster. There is no possible other explanation like lots of work and having a good time and spending time with a great Boy that makes me lose track of time... None whatsoever!
So much talk of favourites! If you ask me there is too much favouritism on this list and that is a term, if you ask me, that should not be associated to the amazing world of music.
But let's see..... What was I listening to the most......
During the Summer vacation we drove around Canada, or the other side of Canada than where I am, so with the lovely french canadians. We had a lot of fun, just my mother and I, going for walks and kayaking through Fjords.
Anyways, while we were driving we were listening to my CD of Music for the Busy Housewife. One of the songs is a personal favourite because there is so much heart in it. And I really try to live my life this way.
Smile by Nat King Cole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-WqFUnqhSc
It's a great way too look at the good days and the bad.
Oh my gosh! Last day of the Month of Music. That settles it... time must have just started moving faster. There is no possible other explanation like lots of work and having a good time and spending time with a great Boy that makes me lose track of time... None whatsoever!
So much talk of favourites! If you ask me there is too much favouritism on this list and that is a term, if you ask me, that should not be associated to the amazing world of music.
But let's see..... What was I listening to the most......
During the Summer vacation we drove around Canada, or the other side of Canada than where I am, so with the lovely french canadians. We had a lot of fun, just my mother and I, going for walks and kayaking through Fjords.
Anyways, while we were driving we were listening to my CD of Music for the Busy Housewife. One of the songs is a personal favourite because there is so much heart in it. And I really try to live my life this way.
Smile by Nat King Cole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-WqFUnqhSc
It's a great way too look at the good days and the bad.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Month of Music: Day 29
Day 29 – A song from my childhood
Apparently I used to lift myself up using the table and dance to this before I could even walk.
Sans Contrefaçon by Mylène Farmer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgre_75wrsU
Apparently I used to lift myself up using the table and dance to this before I could even walk.
Sans Contrefaçon by Mylène Farmer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgre_75wrsU
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Month of Music: Day 28
Day 28 – A song that makes me feel guilty
I was in a relationship before. Quite a while ago when I actually count the years. It was a nasty ending to a crippling arrangment and my self esteem took a punch to the gut and dropped to its knees.
Though it can be argued that when a person strays, they are to blame for straying, but I never argued that point with him. Because in some aspect I must have had a hand in that.
I've gotten to a point that it's all in the past and I can laugh about it but at the time I was feeling broken and this song made me feel like it could all be my fault.
Always on my Mind by Michael Bublé
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSI8TSl17Gc
I was in a relationship before. Quite a while ago when I actually count the years. It was a nasty ending to a crippling arrangment and my self esteem took a punch to the gut and dropped to its knees.
Though it can be argued that when a person strays, they are to blame for straying, but I never argued that point with him. Because in some aspect I must have had a hand in that.
I've gotten to a point that it's all in the past and I can laugh about it but at the time I was feeling broken and this song made me feel like it could all be my fault.
Always on my Mind by Michael Bublé
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSI8TSl17Gc
Friday, June 15, 2012
Month of Music: Day 27
Day 27 – A song that I wish I could play
I'm really not good at fast jazz/improv stuff. So anything that fits into that piano category.
Or I guess....
December Boys by Peter Cincotti
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0pb-TevFYM
I'm really not good at fast jazz/improv stuff. So anything that fits into that piano category.
Or I guess....
December Boys by Peter Cincotti
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0pb-TevFYM
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Month of Music: Day 25 & Day 26
Day 25 – A song that makes me laugh
I can not help the glee that overcomes me at this particularily brilliant song.
Major General from the Pirates of Penzance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1dy44jV8EM&feature=related
Day 26 – A song that I can play on an instrument
Hmmm I can play lots of songs on my intruments.... But I guess if I was to go with my favorites....
It's Christmas Time by The Carpenters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLaTMQhfkhM
I can not help the glee that overcomes me at this particularily brilliant song.
Major General from the Pirates of Penzance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1dy44jV8EM&feature=related
Day 26 – A song that I can play on an instrument
Hmmm I can play lots of songs on my intruments.... But I guess if I was to go with my favorites....
It's Christmas Time by The Carpenters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLaTMQhfkhM
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Month of Music: Days 21, 22, 23 and 24
I would like to point out that even when I do these squished up ones that I actually did think and write down each song that I thought would work on the day of I was just staying over at Boy's or lying somewhere in pain listening to the music rather than opening my computer. (Who I'm sure is actually quite glad of the reprieve)
Day 21 - A song that I listen to when I'm happy
I love music, so being happy I listen to many a piece, but one that I listen to quite alot in happy moments is.
At Last by Etta James
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1uunRdQ61M
It's in one of my favourite movies of all time, Pleasantville, during a really beautiful scene so it always gives me the shivers.
Day 22 – A song that I listen to when I'm sad
I do realize that there must probably be a lot of Mumford and Sons on this list but I can't help it I listen to them a lot.
After the Storm by Mumford and Sons
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMsTSdHIJds
and
I play Satie's Gnossienne #1, #2, #3 and #4 on my piano.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUAF3abGY2M&feature=related
This link is only three of them.
Day 23 – A song that I want to play at my wedding
Wow I don't know. I never really thought I'd find myself part of a wedding much less in the lead role.
If it were ever to happen however....
Let's Misbehave by Cole Porter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvS5h5Pah7E&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=AL94UKMTqg-9BIcQtkuZX60RrnjJ-l-BPQ
Because nothing in life has to be taken too seriously.
Day 24 – A song that I want to play at my funeral
How... depressing.... But I guess
Wind of Change by Scorpions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4RjJKxsamQ
Day 21 - A song that I listen to when I'm happy
I love music, so being happy I listen to many a piece, but one that I listen to quite alot in happy moments is.
At Last by Etta James
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1uunRdQ61M
It's in one of my favourite movies of all time, Pleasantville, during a really beautiful scene so it always gives me the shivers.
Day 22 – A song that I listen to when I'm sad
I do realize that there must probably be a lot of Mumford and Sons on this list but I can't help it I listen to them a lot.
After the Storm by Mumford and Sons
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMsTSdHIJds
and
I play Satie's Gnossienne #1, #2, #3 and #4 on my piano.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUAF3abGY2M&feature=related
This link is only three of them.
Day 23 – A song that I want to play at my wedding
Wow I don't know. I never really thought I'd find myself part of a wedding much less in the lead role.
If it were ever to happen however....
Let's Misbehave by Cole Porter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvS5h5Pah7E&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=AL94UKMTqg-9BIcQtkuZX60RrnjJ-l-BPQ
Because nothing in life has to be taken too seriously.
Day 24 – A song that I want to play at my funeral
How... depressing.... But I guess
Wind of Change by Scorpions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4RjJKxsamQ
Hospitals and ridiculous notions
So I will get back on track with the music. I swear it!
This weekend I was unfortunately rushed to the hospital by Boy because my chest had been hurting for 3 hours straight (and not just a small pain). When we got to the hospital and they checked my heartbeat it was at a good 105 bpm (beats per minute).
Thankfully my heart is great and pumping fantastically but they xrayed my lungs and found some fluid going wonky and now I'm on antibiotics.
Such is life I suppose.
But the music will come!
This weekend I was unfortunately rushed to the hospital by Boy because my chest had been hurting for 3 hours straight (and not just a small pain). When we got to the hospital and they checked my heartbeat it was at a good 105 bpm (beats per minute).
Thankfully my heart is great and pumping fantastically but they xrayed my lungs and found some fluid going wonky and now I'm on antibiotics.
Such is life I suppose.
But the music will come!
Friday, June 8, 2012
Month of Music: Day 19 and 20
Day 19 – A song from my favorite album
Gosh so much favoritism in this list. As you may have figured out from all my previous ranting, I do not have any favorites in my musical taste but here goes.
Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFv5lgT8mc8
This one's from the album Breakfast in America, released in 1979.
I don't think I really need to explain why I adore Supertramp, do you?
Day 20 – A song that I listen to when I'm angry
Hmmm.... Well I'm very rarely angry. And usually when I am feeling any extreme emotions I won't listen to music, I'll play it.
.... I was rather upset a little while ago. I'd say more frustrated than anything else and I did listen to one thing to brighten my spirits.
Man or Muppet? by the Muppets
Or Jason Segel and Walter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WWWTW1P8rQ&feature=relmfu
And when I play my anger or anguish out:
Final Fantasy VII's battle song adapted for the piano.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9imY4CGA2w&feature=related
And anything really fast by Mozart.
Gosh so much favoritism in this list. As you may have figured out from all my previous ranting, I do not have any favorites in my musical taste but here goes.
Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFv5lgT8mc8
This one's from the album Breakfast in America, released in 1979.
I don't think I really need to explain why I adore Supertramp, do you?
Day 20 – A song that I listen to when I'm angry
Hmmm.... Well I'm very rarely angry. And usually when I am feeling any extreme emotions I won't listen to music, I'll play it.
.... I was rather upset a little while ago. I'd say more frustrated than anything else and I did listen to one thing to brighten my spirits.
Man or Muppet? by the Muppets
Or Jason Segel and Walter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WWWTW1P8rQ&feature=relmfu
And when I play my anger or anguish out:
Final Fantasy VII's battle song adapted for the piano.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9imY4CGA2w&feature=related
And anything really fast by Mozart.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Month of Music: Day 18
A song that I wish I heard on the radio
Considering I don't actually listen to the radio, I don't think I can answer this honestly. I mean when I do catch it in the stores or a bus or something I'd rather hear something new and discover new music and such.
So in the spirit of discovering new music. Boy just showed me this song and so, acting as a radio station should, I will share something new to me, with you.
Is This Bar Open 'Till Tomorrow by The Mahones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGuHzfqgCcE
Irish music just makes me want to dance around everywhere I go. And though the subjects aren't usually merry the beat always is.
Those Irish know what they're doing.
Considering I don't actually listen to the radio, I don't think I can answer this honestly. I mean when I do catch it in the stores or a bus or something I'd rather hear something new and discover new music and such.
So in the spirit of discovering new music. Boy just showed me this song and so, acting as a radio station should, I will share something new to me, with you.
Is This Bar Open 'Till Tomorrow by The Mahones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGuHzfqgCcE
Irish music just makes me want to dance around everywhere I go. And though the subjects aren't usually merry the beat always is.
Those Irish know what they're doing.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Month of Music: Day 17
A song that you hear often on the radio
I'm going to add on to that and give you a song I hear often on the radio and I don't hate. Because, if you have read the previous members of this list you might notice that overplaying something is one of my least things.
Even though if it something I love, I can play it a million times over and never get sick of it.
But I digress. This song was played all over, all the time, in France and I still enjoy listening to it.
Marchin On by One Republic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHvgAJe8bvM
I'm also going to add two that they are playing and playing and replaying these days that I'm kind of getting annoyed with:
Somebody that I used to know by Goyte
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY
This one needs to stop.
Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic&ob=av2n
This one is actually a cute music video and can get away with being played so much because of that.
I'm going to add on to that and give you a song I hear often on the radio and I don't hate. Because, if you have read the previous members of this list you might notice that overplaying something is one of my least things.
Even though if it something I love, I can play it a million times over and never get sick of it.
But I digress. This song was played all over, all the time, in France and I still enjoy listening to it.
Marchin On by One Republic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHvgAJe8bvM
I'm also going to add two that they are playing and playing and replaying these days that I'm kind of getting annoyed with:
Somebody that I used to know by Goyte
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY
This one needs to stop.
Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic&ob=av2n
This one is actually a cute music video and can get away with being played so much because of that.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Month of Music: Day 16
A song that I used to love but now hate
Just as a forward to that. I don't actually hate anything really. I could always listen to something even if I wasn't particularily fond of it. I just wouldn't enjoy the experience as much.
Beautiful Day by U2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6WMzDOh1o
I think everything by U2 was drastically overplayed when I was younger and still half the time now.
I'm still not sure if I liked them or if I just wanted to have something in common with my older brother who really liked them. But as it stands now, I don't care much for them. Or at least not since "The Joshua Tree".
Just as a forward to that. I don't actually hate anything really. I could always listen to something even if I wasn't particularily fond of it. I just wouldn't enjoy the experience as much.
Beautiful Day by U2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6WMzDOh1o
I think everything by U2 was drastically overplayed when I was younger and still half the time now.
I'm still not sure if I liked them or if I just wanted to have something in common with my older brother who really liked them. But as it stands now, I don't care much for them. Or at least not since "The Joshua Tree".
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Mixed sorrows and Matched feelings
This has been the most mixed up weekend I have... Ever had in my life. Never have I been left feeling so.... I don't even know what I feel. There are so many emotions spiraling around in my head and in my heart that I'm afraid that I won't be able to control all of them. I wish some would just go away and I wish I could hold on to the others, because they are what is making it bearable.
I asked a question yesterday. A question that I was very afraid to ask.
I was afraid to ask the question because I knew what the answer was going to be. And he said what I thought he would say. In some ways it is a relief. That I know him better than just a few ideas, even though there is a lot that is still kept away from me. I don't blame him for that. I mean you wouldn't tell someone you were unsure of everthing now would you?
I wish I could say knowing it doesn't make it feel like a slap in the face. But you can't be ready for things like this. And I couldn't help my heart breaking just a little bit.
So a big part of me wishes I was more. I was better. I could mean more.
After the question. We walked around together. We were going to go see Snow White and the Huntsman (It's great by the way. Go see it if you can). I asked the question a couple hours before and we had time to kill. I didn't want to sit somewhere where I would have to look into his face so I asked him if we could walk together.
We ended up in a park and sat on a bench.
A woman called out to us from across the park. She was trying to stand up for the fact that she was drinking wine in the small park, by herself, late in the evening and she asked us where the nearest clinic was. While we thought about it she walked over to us.
She was a sweet looking older woman, around 52 I think she said, she was blond and pretty and jingled when she moved around from the bracelets on her arms. She had lines on her face that could only mean years of laughing and smiles. But her eyes were sad and broken when she started speaking to us.
I know she was looking for comfort when she told us about why she was actually drinking late in the park alone. She had been in accident. And she had come out alive where the man she had hit with her car had not.
She told us his age and how many children he had and I could see the tears push up to her eyes with every word. I couldn't bring myself to look away from her even when Boy offered her some words of comfort. We talked for what seemd like ages but only in the space of a few minutes.
She smelled like a sweet perfume when she gave us both a hug and a kiss on the cheek for having listened to her. We offered her whatever words of comfort we could.
When she left I couldn't help but break down into tears. Because I felt bad for her, because I knew that Boy had been through similar problems and because I was bothering him with questions that I really shouldn't be bothering him with.
He hugged me tighter than even the woman had.
I can even believe he felt just as bad as I did in that moment and later that evening. He doesn't realize that I can't ask for anyone better to care for.
Even if it is not as mutual.
The movie was good. And today I got the tattoo I have been waiting for.
The artist is such a sweetheart.
For now. I just hope that I can hold on to the good for just long enough that I can realize that it isn't so bad.
I asked a question yesterday. A question that I was very afraid to ask.
I was afraid to ask the question because I knew what the answer was going to be. And he said what I thought he would say. In some ways it is a relief. That I know him better than just a few ideas, even though there is a lot that is still kept away from me. I don't blame him for that. I mean you wouldn't tell someone you were unsure of everthing now would you?
I wish I could say knowing it doesn't make it feel like a slap in the face. But you can't be ready for things like this. And I couldn't help my heart breaking just a little bit.
So a big part of me wishes I was more. I was better. I could mean more.
After the question. We walked around together. We were going to go see Snow White and the Huntsman (It's great by the way. Go see it if you can). I asked the question a couple hours before and we had time to kill. I didn't want to sit somewhere where I would have to look into his face so I asked him if we could walk together.
We ended up in a park and sat on a bench.
A woman called out to us from across the park. She was trying to stand up for the fact that she was drinking wine in the small park, by herself, late in the evening and she asked us where the nearest clinic was. While we thought about it she walked over to us.
She was a sweet looking older woman, around 52 I think she said, she was blond and pretty and jingled when she moved around from the bracelets on her arms. She had lines on her face that could only mean years of laughing and smiles. But her eyes were sad and broken when she started speaking to us.
I know she was looking for comfort when she told us about why she was actually drinking late in the park alone. She had been in accident. And she had come out alive where the man she had hit with her car had not.
She told us his age and how many children he had and I could see the tears push up to her eyes with every word. I couldn't bring myself to look away from her even when Boy offered her some words of comfort. We talked for what seemd like ages but only in the space of a few minutes.
She smelled like a sweet perfume when she gave us both a hug and a kiss on the cheek for having listened to her. We offered her whatever words of comfort we could.
When she left I couldn't help but break down into tears. Because I felt bad for her, because I knew that Boy had been through similar problems and because I was bothering him with questions that I really shouldn't be bothering him with.
He hugged me tighter than even the woman had.
I can even believe he felt just as bad as I did in that moment and later that evening. He doesn't realize that I can't ask for anyone better to care for.
Even if it is not as mutual.
The movie was good. And today I got the tattoo I have been waiting for.
The artist is such a sweetheart.
For now. I just hope that I can hold on to the good for just long enough that I can realize that it isn't so bad.
Month of Music: Day 14 and 15
Day 14: A song that no one would expect me to love
I guess it is slightly unexpected that I would love this song. I've never much been one for labels so I think that anyone can like anything. But since it's on the list.
Corrente by Adiemus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVW3MSCaMIE
Day 15: A song that describes me
This is a difficult one. Though I guess a good discription of a certain aspect of my personality would be this song.
What I Wouldn't Do by A Fine Frenzy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrJA5eDhh9I
I've always been too much of a romantic.
I guess it is slightly unexpected that I would love this song. I've never much been one for labels so I think that anyone can like anything. But since it's on the list.
Corrente by Adiemus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVW3MSCaMIE
Day 15: A song that describes me
This is a difficult one. Though I guess a good discription of a certain aspect of my personality would be this song.
What I Wouldn't Do by A Fine Frenzy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrJA5eDhh9I
I've always been too much of a romantic.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Month of Music: Day 13
A song that is a guilty pleasure
Sooooo if you've seen Bridget Jones, the first movie, then you know the scene I'm talking about when she's singing alone in her bedroom with wine and dancing up and down the couches.
Now I actually have a couple songs I dance around to but this is the one from the actual movie and the one that most people don't seem to genuinly like.
All by Myself by Jamie O'Neal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbMfA-aFFe0
Though I should specify that I don't get drunk and do it depressingly. Just for the pure fun of going crazy all by myself.
Sooooo if you've seen Bridget Jones, the first movie, then you know the scene I'm talking about when she's singing alone in her bedroom with wine and dancing up and down the couches.
Now I actually have a couple songs I dance around to but this is the one from the actual movie and the one that most people don't seem to genuinly like.
All by Myself by Jamie O'Neal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbMfA-aFFe0
Though I should specify that I don't get drunk and do it depressingly. Just for the pure fun of going crazy all by myself.
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